Etiquette

Wedding invitation etiquette is a set of quite clearly defined ‘rules’ that outline how one should send wedding invitations within the anglo-american tradition.

There are a few guides around which cover this in more detail, and I include their details below.  Here’s the summary:

Style of wedding invitation:

The wedding invitation is engraved on either white or cream heavy stock paper.  The style is very simple and high quality. There are no other motifs, colors or personal touches included on the invitation.  The font is copperplate script and the ink is black.  It is typically 7 x 5.5 inches (or 8 x 6 inches).

Envelopes:

There are two envelopes, the outer envelope and the inner envelope.  The outer envelope is hand-addressed, preferably by a calligrapher and formal addressing style is used (see Wording).  The inner envelope contains the invitation itself and only has the names of the invitees written on it.

Wording:

The guest’s name is included on the top left hand corner of the invitation and then the invitation wording follows (with whomever is hosting the event listed as the people doing the inviting).  See Wording for more details on this.

Note: if the ceremony is to be held in a place of worhip the wording includes “the honor of your prescence”.  If its is to be held in a hotel, garden or other location, the wording is ” the pleasure of your company”.

Response:

A response card is not traditionally included as guests are supposed to send a handwritten note on their own stationery to respond.  However, the more recent etiquette guides note that 21st century manners allow for a response card to be included with an envelope for the convenience of the guests to fill in their names and return.  These would usually be 3.5 x 3.5 inches.

Enclosures:

Include as necessary (eg map, accommodation details), but not the registry details (these are best provided via word of mouth, or on request).

Seperate ceremony and reception

It is possible to invite someone only to the reception and not the ceremony.  In that case, it is recommended that a small note is included to explain why (eg owing to the small size of the church).  It is never appropriate to invite someone to the wedding and not to the reception.

These etiquette notes have been compiled from the following resources.  If a traditional approach utilising proper etiquette is important for you, than these guides will be an invaluable investment. These links will take you to the Book Depository where you can purchase at discount rates, with free worldwide shipping.

Debrett’s Correct Form, Debrett’s Pty Ltd, 2006

Simple, Stunning Wedding Etiquette, Busson, Karen, 2008